Does Not Compute, or, A Very Small Rant

To compute or not to compute…That is the question…Whether tis nobler in the memory bank…to suffer the slings and circuits of outrageous functions…or to take up arms against a sea of transistors. Or rather transponders…transconduc–trans…er…Oh to hack with it.  Oliver Wendell Jones, Bloom County

Remember Bill the Cat? From Bloom County?  One of my most favorite comic strip characters ever.  And actually one of my most beloved comic strips!  I have an unending fondness for Berkeley Breathed (if you haven’t read Flawed Dogs – you must do so now). Right up there with Get Fuzzy, Kliban and The Far Side.  Very funny.  Ack! Thtbbft! were Bill’s two favorite “words”.

And tonight I was channeling Bill – there was a lot of Ack! Thtbbft! Ackkkk! Thbbbbbbbft! I love Gmail. I would marry Gmail.  Okay, that’s a lie.  But I would hold hands with Gmail.  So tonight I was trying to send an email via Gmail (ha! say that 10 times fast) to a friend, and every time I would click on the little paperclip icon, Gmail would shut down! And then open back up! And then show me that I had a draft message in the draft folder!  And then I would try again because I’m stubborn that way! And then the whole process would start again!  And after FIVE times I started talking like Bill and waving my hands around! WHAT THE HECK WAS I DOING WRONG?

It occurred to me that my computer had recently forced me to do an update.  You know that obnoxious official little message window that pops up at the MOST inopportune times and tells you, “Your computer will restart in 10 minutes unless you tell it not to” or something like that.  The message pops up about every 10 minutes until you’re afraid to go the bathroom or make a phone call or let the dogs out for fear that you’ll miss the little pop up window and come back to find out that all the windows you had open and all your spreadsheets and word docs were shut down? Until finally you just give in, shut all your browsing windows and restart the darn thing?

Well, the last update my computer did is now apparently preventing me from attaching any files except if I use Outlook.  Evidently it’s for my own good because I’m not smart enough to figure out if an attachment is safe.  Even if it’s an attachment I WROTE.

Ackkkk! Thbbbbbbbft!

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